Xander the Kitten
by SleazyShakespeare
Summary: It's Sunnydale and Xander gets turned in to a kitten. It's funny the things people do or say in front of animals. But what could a harmless kitty have to say. Who is he going to tell? The only chance Xander has of getting his body back is the Scooby gang. If you wanted a timeline I guess season 7ish but just sit back and enjoy the read. Spike fans might want to keep walking.


Xander walked in to Buffy's house Friday morning "Last shuttle for Sunnydale high leaving in 2 minutes."

Dawn came bouncing down the stairs complaining to Buffy. "I don't get why I have to go to school. I mean all of the potentials just sit around here."

Buffy picked up her coat putting it on. "Hey I'm going to school too you don't hear me complaining."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "It's your job."

Xander stepped to them. "Hey as much as I love a good Summers back and fourth what do you sat we finish this in the car."

Buffy put his hands on her hips. "You are impatient."

Xander opened the front door. "We have a new job today and I can't be late. So you want a ride to school you take it when I give it.  
Dawn jumped in the back seat and Buffy up front. She looked at him "So are you still leaving out of town after work today."

Xander started the engine of the car. "I'll be back on Monday. I really have to get out of town."

Buffy sucked in a breath. "I know the feeling."

Xander shrugged "I invited both you and Willow to come along."

Buffy shook her head "And leave the potentials alone in my house for the weekend. Pass."

Dawn signed "The potentials are working my nerves. Seriously you can't even poop with out someone walking in on you."

Xander laughed "You will survive."

As they pulled up to the school Dawn jumped out. " Have fun on your weekend."

Buffy waited till she was gone. "You know you don't have to leave town to get away from Anya."

"It's not just Anya. I need time away. From everything." He looked at her. "I know you don't want to come with me but if you want to get away from the chaos."

"What do you have in mind?"

"You were going to check on my place anyways right."

"I like where this is going."

"Well you know I live alone. So if you need a place to get away from potentials and slayers and Spike."

"Oh God I forgot you never invited Spike in. Holy hell. This is sounding better every second."

Xander made a scowl hearing Spike's name. "I swear to God I wish he'd get what he deserved."

Buffy shook her head. "It's over Xander."

Xander made a fist. The idea of Spike trying to rape her in the bathroom still made his blood boil. "If I had it my way I'd cut his balls off" -(**REMEMEMBER THIS LINE**)

Buffy shook her head "The universe has a way of balancing things out karma will catch up with him."

"And if it doesn't I'm pretty sure I can run him over"

Buffy got out of the car laughing. "No matter what I promise I'll check your place out, bring in your mail,"

"You are the best Summers."

She started towards the school. "Don't you forget it."

Xander pulled away driving to the job site. As foreman it was important he was the first one there. When he arrived he started pulling the tools and supplied. By 9am the entire crew was there. Xander called the crew together. "Okay I've talked with Ms Jenkins and she is just getting cats kenneled up and we can get started."

Josh one of the drywallers looked at Xander. "So we are working for crazy cat ladies now."

Xander shrugged. "Long as her check clears who cares."

Ms Jenkins was an over weight old lady and she stood on the porch smiling. She made her way over to them. "Mister Harris if you and your men are hungry I wanted to do something nice for you on your first day. I picked up some donuts and coffee, set up in my back yard. I figured big strong men like you need to fuel up before a hard days work.

Xander smiled "That s very kind of you." Xander turned to them "Boys lets get our grub on."

Crazy cat lady or not no one could turn down the free donuts and coffee. Between all of the guys in the crew there wasn't a single crumb left or a drop of coffee. Xander yawned and leaned against the truck. Most of his crew looked like they were about to pass out. He looked to Tony his carpenter "Isn't coffee supposed to wake you up."

Before Tony could respond he dropped the cup from his hand passing out. Xander reached for his friend "Tony" But he fell over passing out. Ms Jenkins watched as one by one they all passed out. She pranced around happily "Welcome to your new home my little babies."

Xander wasn't sure how long he was our for. As he started to wake up his head felt like it was hit with a sledgehammer. His mind raced. _"What the hell did that crazy bitch put in those coffee and donuts?" _ As he opened his eyes he realized he was lying on a floor. He looked around and realized he was laying next to a couple of kittens. He called out "What the hell is going on." But the only thing he heard come out of his mouth was "MEOW."

Ms Jenkins crossed the room standing over Xnader. From his perspective she was a giant. "Oh Mister Snuggle Bug you are awake." It was Xander realized why she looked so big. As she bent down picking him up Xander caught his reflection in the mirror. What ever was in those coffee had turned him to a kitten.

A kitten with white fur and brown spots. Xander looked in the mirror not believing what he was seeing. He started squirming and shaking wildly trying to get away. Ms Jenkins looked at him angry "Now now. If you want to keep acting up than you won't get any tuna tonight."

Xander looked around knowing he had to find a way out. . Another meow was suddenly heard. Ms Jenkins put Xander "I think that is your friend Josh. Now his name is Snickerdoodle."

As she sat Xander down to go look at Mister Snickerdoodle Xander quickly scanned the room. He counted 6 kittens including himself that were either sleeping or just waking up. As he looked around though there must have been 30 different cats and kittens in the house.

His mind raced. _"Holy shit This is the king of all crazy cat ladies. I have to get out. I have to get to Willow or Buffy. I have to find them. They can fix this. They can fix me." _Xander scanned the other cats. These weren't just kittens. These were his co workers.

_"Okay I can't do anything for them here. I have to get out." _He quickly scanned the room. With 30 different cat/man captives Old lady Jenkins had this place sealed up tighter than a drum. No open windows or doors to run in to. Xander ran through the house looking for any opportunity. He was starting to think this place would e his permanent prison.

As he looked around the kitchen he realized she never had any intentions of doing a remodel. It was an excuse to get more victims there Xander's mind flashed back to the first time he was in the house. He was giving her an estimate to replace the rotted wood in the cabinet floor. Wood that had holes that led under the porch. More importantly outside.

As Ms Jenkins picked up Eric and was newly naming him SugarKiss, Xander started nudging the cabinet door trying with everything he had to get it open. He bumped his head against it pulled with his teeth.

Ms Jenkis saw this from across the room "Snuggle Bug you get away from there."

Xander knew she was coming for him. He clamped his tiny kitten mouth around the hanle and pulled with everything he hand. The door finally gave way and he jumped in looking for the rotted hole. Ms Jenkins yelled at him "BAD KITTY."

Xander ran from one cabinet in to the next. _"Come on you have to be here." _Jenkins pulled each cabinet door open as Xaner ran searching for the hole. At the end of the final cabinet he saw it. Jenkins reached violently for him. Xander jumped over her hand and dove into the hole

"NO MISTER SNUGGLE BUG." She reached through the hole but Xander was too fast. Xander looked around running out from under the porch. As he ran out he realized it was dark now. He was suddenly wondering how long he had been knocked out.

The front door of the house opened as the portly Ms Jenkins came running for him. Xander squeezed between a gap in the fence and just kept running. He jumped in to the street running across. He saw a car barreling down on him _"Oh God I'm going to die. I'm going to die as a cat. Must keep running." _

As he cleared the street to the other side Ms Jenkins tried to cross but was waiting for the clearing between cars Xander jumped in to the bushes. He ran for what seemed like forever. He looked back and wasn't sure of where he was. He knew Ms Jenkins was long gone.

Xander looked around trying to figure out where he was. It was harder than usual. He was much smaller and it was harder to see. The grass was tall and he couldn't find a landmark _"Okay Xander you have to keep it together. Just hind out where you are and land mark it to Buffy and Willo" _

Before he could finish his though he felt a hand on the back of the scruff of his neck. Xander recognized the voice almost immediately. Spike held kitten Xander by the scruff of his neck. "Well well Mister Kitty what are you doing in my parts."

_"Oh my God Spike it's me Xander. You have to get me to Buffy and Willow. Some crazy bitch turned me and my entire crew in to cats. Not to mention all the other cats that are probably people too. " _ But all Spike heard was "Meow"

"Well aren't you a talkative one. Well my friend. You are going to help me get back in a good game of Kitten Poker."

_"What the hell Spike. I'm not a cat. You have to help me GOD I HATE YOU." _

"I take your meow as a consent you are down for this." Spike carried Xander by the scruff of his neck. Xander was too tired from running. Besides he knew how to get from Spike's crypt to Buffy's house if he knew how to break free.

As they got closer to the crypt a fight could be heard. Spike looked over seeing Buffy fighting a random vampire. He muttered "Time for everyone's favorite show. I hate Vampires." Xander saw Buffy fighting and tried to get her attention.

_"Buffy you have to help me. It's me Xander. HELP ME PLEASE" _Spike heard the little kitten meowing constantly. Spike laughed "Yeah she has that effect on me too." As Spike looked on he saw the vampire Buffy was fighting. "Oh shit don't kill that guy. He is in to me 20 bucks."

Buffy rolled her eyes and staked him in the heart. "What was that Spike? I didn't hear you." Buffy still felt uncomfortable around Spike but powered through it.

Spike just shook his head. "Aw what the hell slayer. " As Spike held Xander by the scruff of his neck Xander finally was able to take a swipe at Spike with his claw. He dropped him on the ground "Ow. You asshole."

Buffy looked on confused. "What the hell are you doing Spike?"

Xander ran towards Buffy as fast as he could. Spike chased him. Xander knew it was now or never. He jumped at her in her arms as Buffy caught him.

Spike stood in front of her "You got him thank you."

Buffy stroked Kitty Xander petting him. "The poor thing is shaking.. What are you doing with a cat anyways?"

"Uhm it's a pet in my crypt."

"You are such a liar. Like you aren't going to put this thing up in a game of kitten poker."

"Well that isn't really your concern." He went to reach to take her from Buffy.

Xander looked at him. _"Fuck you Spike. You touch me I will claw the shit out of you asshole." _Of course that only came out as an angry hiss and growl.

Buffy pulled him back. "Yeah pretty sure he doesn't like you."

Spike rolled his eyes. "Well like or not it's my kitten and he's coming with me."

Buffy thought fast and put the kitty cat down the front of her t shirt. Xander looked on a little shocked. _"Oh My God. Buffy' You aren't a wearing a bra!" _He nestled comfortably in between her breasts

Spike just looked on agitated. "Give me the cat."

Buffy held the cat in place against her chest under the shirt. "The kitty is mine now and if you have any ideas of going after it I promise you'll lose a hand."

Spike angry shook his head. "You know what fine. Keep the damn thing. I hope it gives you fleas." With that he spun on his heal and turned walking away.

Buffy waited till Spike was gone and pulled the kitten out of her shirt. "Don't worry kitty he is gone. I won't let him hurt you."

"_Buffy it is me Xander. You have to help. Please tell me you understand. I need your help. We have to find Willow or Giles or someone."_

"Well meow meow meow to you to Kitty. Do you have a name.?"

"_You know my name. It's Xander. XANDER."_

"Meow isn't a very good name. Well I can see you are a boy kitty and you like hanging out in graveyards so how about… Crypty."

"_Are we really doing this?"_

"I will take your meow as an approval. You must be cold. You are shaking."

"_I'm not cold. I've been running forever and than Spike was kind of rough so my nerves are shot."_

"Oh don't worry sweetie I'll keep you warm. I think we are done with patrol so what do you say we go home."

_ "Buffy I'm not cold you don't have to" _ She once again put him down the front of her shirt holding him between her breasts once again. _"You know what never mind"_

10 minutes later Buffy was back in front of her house. Before she even entered she could hear the yelling in the house. "Welcome to my fresh hell Crypty."

She walked in to the house and one of the _slayers_ approached complaining that she had 2 slices of pizza in the fridge this morning but someone ate it. Another slayer came at her with the hot water heater could only give up to 10 showers and who ever was 11 got cold water.

Buffy pushed past through them to find Willow in the kitchen working on her homework. "Hey Will . Friday night time to cut loose."

Xander suddenly stuck his head out of the top of Buffy's shirt _"Willow I need your help. Some crazy cat lady turned me in to this.. It's me Xander. Please tell me you understand." _

Willow laughed "Oh my God Buffy who is your friend."

Buffy pulled him out of her shirt. "Oh yeah Spike had this poor thing in the graveyard. I am pretty sure he was going to use him for kitten poker."

Willow petted the top of his ears. "He's just so cute. So are you going to keep him?"

Buffy shrugged "A month ago I'd of said no but today. I mean I go what 20 different people in this house at any give time. What is 1 more? Sadly he is probably the easiest. I will figure it out tomorrow. For right now though I want to get a hot shower and go to bed."

Willow shook her head. "Only cold water. Hey did you remember to check Xander's"_meow_ "Place."

Buffy shook her head "I forgot." She smiled "But Xander did say I could use his place so."

"So?"

"Xander" _meow "_said while he is gone I can stay at his place. So one night with out potentials or noise and a hot shower sounds like heaven. I am going to pack a bag and I'm heading over."

"You going to take the cat with you?"

"Hell if I'm leaving him here. Need I remind you Mister Kitty Fantastico meets Dawn meets the crowbow."

Willow nodded "Good call."

Buffy put the cat back down the front of her shirt. It was easier to carry the cat down the front of her shirt so she slipped him back down. Not that Xander complained. "Oh Willow do we have any tuna here?"

Willow stood up finding one can and tossing it too her. "For the cat?"

Buffy caught the can "He must be hungry. I mean he keeps trying to get milk from my nipples."

Buffy ran up stairs to her room grabbing a duffle bag . She sat Xander in the middle of her bed and started packing her things. "Sit there while I get my things together"

Xander sat on the bed watching Buffy move through out the room. Xander quickly looked around the room. He needed to find a way to tell Buffy he was Xander. On her night stand he saw a photo of him Buffy and Willow. Quickly he jumped to the night stand and knocked over the photo.

Buffy spun around "Crypty don't be a bad kitty."

_"Buffy it's me please see this. Look at the picture Look at the cat. Picture cat me. Make the connection. Come on you got this." _

Buffy picked up the photo "Come on. We are staying at Xander's " _meow "_Tonight" She picked up Xander and the bag but stopped. "Oh wait I need one more thing." She reached for a box in the back of her closet and shoved it in her duffle bag. "Let's go."

She escaped the house and found her way to Xander's apartment. Just as she was about to walk in she saw Anya in the hallway frustrated. She smiled seeing Buffy. "Buffy you are here."

"Yeah Xander" meow "asked me to watch his place."

Anya looked at her confused "Did your boobs just meow."

Buffy rolled her eyes "Anya what do you want?"

"My key doesn't work"

_Xander stayed under the shirt but peeked through the top seeing his ex girlfriend. "Yeah the key don't work cause I changed the lock you crazy bitch"_

Buffy knew why it didn't work. "Yeah well mine does and I'm tired so."

Anya smiled "Great so you can let me in and I can get my stuff."

_"Bullshit. I don't have any of your stuff. You just want to get in and steal my stuff." _

Buffy shook her head. "Sorry but you should come back later. I'm not letting you in."

Anya rolled her eyes. "Buffy relax. This is Xander. He is angry now but things will change You know we are going to be back together in a week. I just have to come over when he is horny and I'll do my fake sexy thing and before the nights done we are back together."

"That is fine but you still aren't getting in here."

Anya stepped aside "What ever. This is going to be one of those awkward moments when we get back together."

Buffy nodded and put the key in the door "Yep cross the bridge when we get there." She opened the door and stepped in "Night Anya."

Anya muttered under her breath "Bitch." And walked away.

Buffy took a deep breath and pulled Xander out front under her shirt. "I swear to God Xander if you take her back I will beat you myself."

Xander looked up at Buffy confused "_Yeah trust me that ain't happening Buffy. I am done with her forever."_

"Besides Crypty when I'm done with him Anya is going to be old news."

_ "Yeah she is. Wait What?'_

"Don't pee on the floor or anything and we will get along just fine." Buffy went to the kitchen finding a can opener and put down the can of tuna and some water. "You eat. I am going to get a shower and ready for bed."

Buffy started humming and went in to Xander's bedroom. Xander looked on confused. _"I thought you were hitting the shower?" _ He followed her in to the bedroom where she tossed her duffle bag on to the bed and went straight to the closet. Buffy opened the door and started going through Xander's long sleeve button up shirts. As she flipped through each one she took and arm and held it up to her nose breathing in deep. Finally she found his long blue dress shirt. "Mmmm this is the one. Smells just like him." Xander stood there in the door way confused. _"What the hell Buffy?"_

Buffy turned seeing him. "Eat your dinner. Be a good kitty and eat." With that she went in to the bathroom. Xander shook his head and went back to the tuna Xander shook his head. He hated Tuna but at least it wasn't cat food.

Half an hour later Buffy came out of the bathroom followed by a cloud of steam. She was wearing the shirt she picked out. Buffy stepped in to the living room "Crypty it is time for bed."

Xander came out of the kitchen and saw buffy in just her panties and his shirt. _"Holy shit Buffy I."_

Buffy scooped him up. "Come on. I can't leave you out here to mess up Xander's "Meow" place as I sleep. But you promise to not think too badly of me. I generally don't sleep with those I have only known a few hours." She walked in to the bedroom placing Xander on the bed "STAY."

_"Don't have to tell me twice Summers."_

Buffy went to her duffle bag bag. "See Crypty I need a little release before I can call it a night." She pulled out the box from her duffle bag.

_"Don't want to sound like Brad Pitt here Buff but What's in the box? What's in the box?"_

She pulled out a vibrator from the box. "This is my little d battery powered friend and I call it Xander."

_ "You call it what?'_

No more words were said, as she got comfortable on the bed. Xander was still sitting at the foot of the bed. "God I could get used to this. No slayers. No vampires. Just me a clean apartment and little visit to to a place I call buzz town. Xander looked on shocked thinking this was something you paid 20 bucks to see on the internet.

Buffy hooked her thumbs under the waist band of her thong and pulled them down. She was about to turn on the vibrator but stopped as she saw the Kitty staring at her. "Uhm Crypty do you want to uhm watch tv or something." She shrugged "What the hell it's not like you can tell anyone."

She spread her legs wide as Xander got an eye full of her beautiful pink pussy. She closed her eyes and pulled the collar of her shirt closer to her so she count catch the scent from the shirt. With a single flick of her finger she turned on the vibrator and slowly eased it between her legs. She was wet practically instantly.

She slowly raised the tip of the vibrator from the bottom of her slit all the way to her clit and holding it there. She opened her legs wider as she felt her cunt getting wetter and wetter.

Her moans sounded like a sweet symphony to Xander. She finally pushed the vibrator in to her pussy and started rocking her hips against the battery operated marvel. She bit her lip and cried out in joy. "FUCK."

She pushed it deeper in to her cunt and twisted the knob a little higher to give more power and speed. She whispered "Fuck me Xander Please. Fuck me." She felt herself getting wetter and wetter as her bald cunt glistened with her juiced. As she pushed the vibrator deeper in to her thumb found her clit as she started rubbing it faster and hard.

Her breathing quickened as she pushed it the final length in her and than pulled it out and than back in. At this point she gave the knob one final turn and set it on high. Her body felt on fire and she continued rubbing her clit fast knowing she was on the verge of cumming.

Finally the flood gates released as she hit orgasm. She groaned a sweet low sweet sounding moan as she felt her entire body go loose. She was breathing like she just finished running a race. She took the vibrator turning it off and dropping it next to her on the bed. She opened her eyes with a goofy smile. "Well Crypty you aren't the only happy kitty in this apartment anymore." She laughed and looked at the cat.

She looked at him seeing him frozen like a statue. He wasn't even blinking. "Oh Shit. Crypty are you okay. Please don't be having a stroke or something. God this why I don't get pets."

_"Oh my God Buffy that might be the sexiest thing I think I've ever seen. What are you talking about stroke blink. Oh right. No I'm fine." _ He shook his head and blinked and Buffy heard the familiar "Meow"

"Oh God don't scare me like that." She ran her fingers over the top of his head scratching his ears. "now come on we are going to have to wake up early change the sheets wash this shirt.. Let's get some sleep."

Buffy picked him up once again setting him on her chest as she pulled the blankets up and drifted off to sleep. Even though he was a cat Xander had never slept better in his life.

She was woke up early the next morning by the ringing of the phone. She groaned out at the phone . "Who the hell is calling so early?"

Xander lifted his head up off her chest and looked through hazy eyes. Buffy fumbled picking up the phone "Hello?"

Willow was on the other end of the line. "Buffy you have to get up we might have an emergency on our hands."

Buffy yawned "What is going on?"

"So I'm Xander's emergency contact at work. They tried calling him and when he didn't respond they called me."

"He's out of town Willow."

"I thought so too but none of Xander's crew came home from their job last night. "

"Which in this town means bad things. I am on my way Willow." Buffy sat the little kitty on the edge of the bed. "Time to go Crypty" She looked around the apartment and knew she would have to come back later to clean up.

She put on her clothes and 20 minutes later came back in to the house. Dawn came in to the front door just after Buffy. "I came to the house Xander"meow" "Was working on yesterday. The lady said they worked most of the day but left early since it was a Friday."

Buffy shook her head. "I'm not liking this. I thought Xander" meow" left town but what if he never made it."

Willow interrupted. "Xander" meow " Would have called us when he arrived."

Buffy closed her eyes trying to focus. "Maybe Anya did something to him. I mean Xander" meow" and her have this long history that."

Willow looked at the cat confused. "Buffy what is the deal with the cat."

Buffy held him up. "I told you I found him last night."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Not that he." She looked at the cat "Xander" and once again he meowed.

Buffy looked confused "that's strange.."

Dawn shrugged "Maybe the cat thinks you are calling it. I know." Dawn smiled at the cat. "David" there was silice. "Eric….. Spots….. Mittens…" Dawn looked him in the eyes "Xander?'

_"Meow" _

Xander had enough he knew what he had to do. He took off up the stairs running to Willows room

Buffy let go of a breath. "We are wasting time. Xander could be hurt"

Dawn shook her head "This cat might be our first solid lead." She chased after him following him in to Willows room.

Willow and Buffy followed close behind. Xander looked around the room for what he needed. He saw the old doll siting on the daybed and jumped up pulling at the button on it's He bit his teeth around the button and kept pulling with everything he had. Finally the thread broke and the button came off.

Willow looked at the cat. "Hey that is my doll."

Dawn shrugged. "It's just a button can't be that hard to sew back on."

Xander dropped the button at there feet. He than looked at the monogram pillow on the day bed It had a single giant W on it for Willow. Xander pulled the pillow dragging it with everything he had. The last thing he did was drag the same picture Buffy had on her bed stand. He laid it next to the pillow

Buffy shook her head "The cat is a spaz."

Dawn shook her head "I think he is trying to tell us something."

Buffy nodded "Of course. Button W Pictureframe. It is all so clear now."

Willow looked at the doll. "This is suppoed to be the eye on the doll."

Dawn nodded "And the way he positioned the pillow. That's an M not a W."

Buffy turned her head for a second getting it. "Oh Eye M " she looked at the picture frame seeing Xander in the picture. "Eye M Xander."

Xander meowed as loud as he could.

Willow picked up the kitty looking him in the eye. She turned her head "You are Xander?"

"Meow"

Buffy smiled but a sudden look of realization hit her. She grabbed the cat looking in his eyes. "YOU ARE XANDER!"

He looked down knowing what she was thinking. Xander couldn't make eye contact with her but let out a small "meow"

Dawn shook her head. "Some one turned Xander in to a cat?"

Willow shrugged "One way to find out. Sorry Xander." She plucked a single hair out from his fur. "I'll run some tests on this and see what we got."

Dawn followed Willow out the door and Buffy picked up the kitty. She whispered. "I saved you from Spike so you'd be smart to leave any kitty cat memories in that kitty cat brain. If we can change you back." No words were said but Buffy could have sworn she saw the kitten smile at her.

20 minutes Willow returned with an answer. Willow looked at Xander. "Okay I don't know if the cat is Xander but it was formerly human. There is transmorphication spell that made who ever it was take this form."

Buffy wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer. "Can it be undone."

Willow nodded. " Dawn is picking up the needed supplies from the magic box. Should only take me a few minutes."

A few minutes later walked through the door with the supplied. Just beyond that Willow mixed a simple spell. It glowed with a green energy. She poured it in to a a saucer and carried it up to Buffy and Xander.

Buffy was whispering. "You weren't looking for milk at all were you."

Willow came in to the room. "Everything okay."

Buffy smirked "Just peachy. So we ready?"

Willow nodded. "It should pretty much be instantaneous. Which is why I need you to pick up Xander put him in the bathroom and I'll put the saucer down."

Buffy picked up Xander. "Why the Bathroom?"

Willow carried the saucer putting it on the bathroom floor. "Cause he's a cat not wearing any clothes. When this works he's going to be naked. You wouldn't want him seeing you naked."

She just mumbled "Too late for that."

Willow looked confused "What?"

Buffy smirked "nothing."

Dawn placed some of Xander's old clothes on the toilet Buffy put Xander on the floor. Willow looked at him. "Drink that and hopefully it should have you back to your old self. Do you understand?"

"Meow"

Willow shrugged "Hopefully that is a yes." She pulled the door shut and Xander went to the saucer lapping it up. A few sips in he felt like he was on fire. The potion had done it's thing and cancelled the magic out that was making him stay a kitty.

Dawn, Willow and Buffy stood outside the bathroom for a few minutes. Dawn looked at Willow "How long do we wait."

Willow shrugged "I don't know I"

Before she could respond the door open and Xander came out dressed in the clothes Dawn laid out for him. Willow practically tackled him in a hug. She held him tight. "So it was you"

Xander hugged her holding her tight. "Yes it was. But Willow I'm going to need you to make a whole lot more of that stuff. That crazy cat lady turned my entire work crew and I'm thinking pretty much every other person ever to step foot in to that house a cat."

Willow nodded "I am on it."

Dawn looked at him. "So what was it like to be a cat?'

"The food is terrible."

Dawn nodded "I'm gong to go help Willow with the spell."

Xander nodded "I'm going to call Giles and we need to put together a crew to get in to crazy cat ladies house. I don't know how much magic she has at her disposal but better safe than sorry."

Buffy grabbed his arm. "Yeah yeah we will get your construction buddies un catted but we have to talk."

Xander swallowed the lump in his throat. "Uhm yeah me as a kitten how freaky was that. Good thing I don't remember anything."

"You are lying."

Xander opened his mouth to say something but shook his head "Eh screw it." He pulled Buffy close and gave her a deep kiss. She was shocked and surprised but she went with it. When she pulled away from the kiss she wasn't sure what it meant.

"You were the one who said you didn't want me back with Anya and you'd do what ever it took to make sure that didn't happen."

She opened her mouth to object but stopped. "What the hell. I say we roll the dice and see where it leads us."

A few hours later Giles, Buffy, Willow, Dawn and Xander were back at old lady Jenkins house When Xander arrived at the door she smiled but recognized him. "Oh shit"

She grabbed a small cup drinking it down quickly. Buffy watched as Old Lady Jenkins went from an overweight old white woman to a black cat. She dove between Buffy's legs and ran to get away. Just like Xander she managed to work her way out of their grasp and get away.

Xander shook his head "Let her go. We got enough on our plate here." The house was filled with at least 50 cats. He looked at Willow "Should we get started?"

Willow put saucers of the potion out over the house. One by one the magic stopped working and the cats returned to their normal human form.

Ms Jenkins was walking through the same graveyard Xander had originally escaped to. The potion she drank was 100 percent pure. No amount of potion would ever change her back. Out of no where she felt a hand jerk her up.

Spike picked her up. "Well well what do we have here. You aren't really a kitty. You look old."

Ms Jenkins hissed at Spike. Spike ignored her. "Can't imagine you would even get me an ante in a poker game. But I could use a snack." No more words were said. Spike put on his vamp face and bit in to the cat drinking from it deeply. The potion was so powerful and fresh it flowed through her blood and indirectly in to Spike. Spike continue drinking till old lady Jenkins made no more sound. He sucked every last drop out of the cat and dropped the lifeless cat to the ground.

"That wasn't too bad but I feel like I need just a little." He started walking towards his crypt but passed out on the ground before he could get there. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

**6 Weeks Later: Sunnydale Animal Shelter**

_"So this is the end for the world's greatest vampire. Not with an apocalypse ending battle. NO.. I end up trapped in the body of GOD DAMN TABBY" _ Maybe it was justice for all the kittens he had played poker with through the years, all the cats that he drained and killed. He had been picked up 3 days after he was transformed from vampire to cat. Animal Control took him in after he scratched someone who stepped on his tail. He had been watching the calendar and knew his time was almost up. If he wasn't adopted by the end of the day he would be gassed and put under.

He heard the clank of the large metal door and jumped to his feet. He recognized the voice talking. It was Buffy and Xander. _ "Oh Bloody Hell I am saved"_

Buffy was holding Xander's hand as they walked down the hallway. She smiled at Brenda the girl in charge of the shelter. "So I had a cat for a day a month ago and I have to admit I kind of want a pet of my own."

Brenda looked at her curious. "Just a day."

Xander interrupted "Pet sitting."

She nodded suddenly understanding. "Well we just had an adoption fair this last weekend. So we don't have a lot for choices."

Buffy smirked "Well show us what you got."

She unlocked the door to a german Shepard. "This is Rusty. He truly is a great dog." Xander reached down petting the back of his head. The dog smiled and licked his hand. "So what is his deal? Why is he still here? He seems awesome."

Buffy bent down petting Rusty. "Yeah very friendly."

Brenda looked at him a little sad. "Rusty had a run in with another animal we think and he lost one of his legs. The sad truth is most people don't want handicapped animals."

Buffy looked in to his eyes "That is so sad."

Xander stood up. "But I think my girlfriend wants a cat. You said you had one cat?"

Brenda pointed to the cage next to Rusty's "Yeah we this black and white cat."

Buffy looked at the cat and could tell there was something in Brenda's tone. "You don't sound too jazzed about."

Brenda looked at the cat that bit, scratched peed and pooped on her. "We never really named this one. But I call him asshole."

Buffy got on her hands and knees so she could take a closer look at the cat. Spike locked eyes with her. _"See me slayer. You know this is me. You are going to save my life because you and me. WE are meant to be. You can get me home and find a way to reverse this crazy cat bullshit. See me Buffy. SEE ME." _

Buffy stood up and shook her head. "Xander I know I said a cat but."

Xander smirked knowing what she was getting at. "You like Rusty."

She just nodded. Brenda smiled. "Rusty it looks like you got a new home."

Spike howled at her _"NO slayer." _As the heavy door clanked shut he had accepted his fate.

With 15 minutes left in the day the door opened again. Spike jumped up. _"She's come back for me! BUFFY BUFFY!"_

Brenda walked down the hall with a little girl in a sundress and her father. "Now we only have one animal left."

The 5 year old girl stood in front of the cage. She looked like a giant to Spike. "I want to hug him:" Brenda opened the cell to take him out. The little girl didn't wait though. She yanked Spike up and squeezed him with everything she had.. "You are the bestest kitty EVER."

The father laughed. "Now Elmira remember a pet is a big responsibility."

Spike gasped and weased for air under the pressure of her hug, _"Bloody hell I'm a cat not an accordion."_

"I promise daddy I will pet him and squeeze him and take care of him and love him EVERY DAY."

The father just laughed. "Okay darling." He looked at Brenda. "We will take him."

_"I'm not going to DIE! Oh Thank you little girl. Thank you so much"_

Elmira looked up at her dad, "When can we bring him home?"

The father bent down getting eye to eye with her daughter. "What the man on the game show say honey?"

She bit her lip trying to remember the words. "Help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed and neutered."

_"NEUTERED WHAT?"_

Brenda took Spike from Elmira. "We will get him neutered for you tonight and you can pick him up tomorrow."

_"Wait I've changed my mind. I want to die."_

Elmira gave her new cat one more hug., "See you tomorrow Mister Kitty"

Spike yelled out trying to get free. "_Damn you Bob Barker DAMN YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL."_


End file.
